We often need to recollect our feelings to see wether or not we still have grasp of our lives. Though it isn't entirely possible to have a complete handle on it because of the numerous external variables affecting us. I guess in a perfect setting everything would be in order and according to plan, but we weren't built in order. Humankind has tried to make sense of what is order since the beginning of time, but in reality our sense of order is based on chaos, because chaos is what makes us. It is in our very being. Doing what is illogical in its way is the only logical thing. We live in world of irony.
Often times we question the existence of choice. In an ideal setting one should chose what it is that is in our best interest, but we live for the thrill. We live for mistakes. We live to do what is wrong. Our intellect is shadowed by feeling and emotion, which in turn drowns us with self doubt.
We make of what makes sense, and the hardest part is to live accepting the fact that there are things that are uncontrollable, and dwelling upon these thoughts makes it self destructive. It is in our nature to question, and to be curious. If we don't then to whom are we being of purpose for.
I finally understand why God plays an important part in our purpose, because through him creates meaning and order from all of the chaos. We surrender ourselves to his will and in turn we stay sane. What was arbitrary suddenly becomes planned out. We live for meaning and purpose. What was senseless suddenly becomes clear.
Happiness is a choice. I now wonder, what makes people happy. What keeps people sane?